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It has been brought to my attention that I have unintentionally upset a number of people with my comments here and here about the distinction between non-con and D/s.
Let me apologise unreservedly to anyone who was upset by my confusion over the issue – and by any other remarks I have made that read differently to people who are actively participant in bdsm activities than they do to me, since it’s all about fic to me. Upsetting people is the last thing I want to do, but I do have a tendency to put my foot in things and I’m not very good at anticipating how what I write will read to other people, or how important some things are. On these occasions, I do need to be told, clearly, what I’ve done wrong. I will probably cry (it doesn’t take much, especially these days what with stress and tiredness and depression making even tiny things seem like the end of the world to me) but once I’ve calmed down I will do my best to deal with the issue.
I’m sorry I didn’t treat this matter seriously enough when it was first mentioned. I honestly didn’t realise how serious it was and had to have it hammered home to me, because I am that thick at the moment. I’m really, really sorry to anyone I’ve hurt by implying that non-con was not the same as rape, when it obviously is.
For what it’s worth, I’m not likely to be making any more mistakes in the near future. My self-confidence is at an all-time low and I’m not writing and seriously thinking about not even commenting on things because I’m so scared of upsetting people again.
I don’t know if this post helps at all, or if it just makes things worse, but I don’t know what else to do. I really don’t want to lose any friends – or potential friends – over this. And I want to understand things and be a better person and not keep getting things wrong like this.
Let me apologise unreservedly to anyone who was upset by my confusion over the issue – and by any other remarks I have made that read differently to people who are actively participant in bdsm activities than they do to me, since it’s all about fic to me. Upsetting people is the last thing I want to do, but I do have a tendency to put my foot in things and I’m not very good at anticipating how what I write will read to other people, or how important some things are. On these occasions, I do need to be told, clearly, what I’ve done wrong. I will probably cry (it doesn’t take much, especially these days what with stress and tiredness and depression making even tiny things seem like the end of the world to me) but once I’ve calmed down I will do my best to deal with the issue.
I’m sorry I didn’t treat this matter seriously enough when it was first mentioned. I honestly didn’t realise how serious it was and had to have it hammered home to me, because I am that thick at the moment. I’m really, really sorry to anyone I’ve hurt by implying that non-con was not the same as rape, when it obviously is.
For what it’s worth, I’m not likely to be making any more mistakes in the near future. My self-confidence is at an all-time low and I’m not writing and seriously thinking about not even commenting on things because I’m so scared of upsetting people again.
I don’t know if this post helps at all, or if it just makes things worse, but I don’t know what else to do. I really don’t want to lose any friends – or potential friends – over this. And I want to understand things and be a better person and not keep getting things wrong like this.